Serrektal®
Relief for Chronic Proposal Syndrome
Primary Effects
- ✓Stops unsolicited DMs
- ✓Inbox Peacekeeping Formula™
- ✓Read-Receipt Shield + Auto-Ignore
*This is satire. Not financial advice.
Description
Fed up with "sir, partnership?" DMs flooding your Twitter? Tired of random projects sliding into your Telegram asking if you want to "collab"? Serrektal® provides fast-acting relief from Chronic Proposal Syndrome. Our proprietary Read-Receipt Shield ensures that scammers think you read their message while you remain blissfully unaware. Clinical studies show a 99% reduction in unsolicited partnership requests within 24 hours of first dose.
Dosage Instructions
Apply directly to your DMs once daily, or whenever you post about crypto.
Warnings
Side effects may include actually missing legitimate opportunities. But honestly, they were probably scams anyway.
Approved by Our Chief Anxiety Officer
"I've seen it all and I'm still chill. Trust me, this works." — Fluffy McChillface, Chief Anxiety Officer
