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The RIVO® Products
Premium parody medications for crypto traders. All products paid with $RIVO.
Bean-o-tril
Prescription-strength for BNB degen nerves
Effects:
- ✓Rug-Proof Mental Clarity™
- ✓Impermanent-Loss Blocker™
- ✓CZ-Approved Zen Mode™
SOL-o-Tril
The ultimate chill pill for Solana meme traders
Effects:
- ✓Diamond-Hands Booster
- ✓DeFi Degeneracy Dampener
- ✓"It's just maintenance" Copium Filter
Serrektal®
Relief for Chronic Proposal Syndrome
Effects:
- ✓Stops unsolicited DMs
- ✓Inbox Peacekeeping Formula™
- ✓Read-Receipt Shield + Auto-Ignore
RUGAWAY™
Fast-acting emotional relief for rug victims
Effects:
- ✓Instant Cope Technology
- ✓Portfolio Numbifier
- ✓"Lessons learned" journal
NoGas-X
For ETH gas-fee anxiety (typo-free edition)
Effects:
- ✓Reduces fee-induced stress
- ✓Failed-TX Therapy
- ✓Pairs well with L2s
Sniffa-Tril
For chronic "next 1000x" sniffing disorder
Effects:
- ✓Fake-Alpha Filter
- ✓Influencer Immunity
- ✓Rug Radar (beta)
Disclaimer
RIVO® products are parody medications for entertainment purposes only. Not real pharmaceuticals. Not financial or medical advice.
